TMI Dilemma

I've been thinking a lot about this blog, believe it or not, imaginary reader. It's kind of a weird thing. It started out as just a super-secret blog about wanting a baby just because I need an outlet. Like, not even my husband or my mom know about this blog. And then like two seconds later it became a super-secret yet semi-public blog about running, since half of Janathon is blogging your runs.

Which is kind of weird, yes, but the really weird thing is I'm not sure what kind of TMI I can go into here anymore. 'Cause in the Venn diagram of allowable running and pregnancy/trying/motherhood TMI, there is an overlap, but not really. To illustrate my point, literally, here are some diagrams. It may appear at first that there's a lot in common:

But here's the real story:

Or, in a little more detail...

TMI stuff runners can share:
-Stories about poop (getting the trots, almost getting the trots [I like the 2 Gomers' appellation of "code brown" for that one]*, seeing people get the trots, what kind of food gives you the trots, etc.)
-Stories about bleeding (that time you fell on your ass*, that time you saw someone fall on their ass, that time you lost a toenail, etc.)
-Stories about vomit (your vomit, other people's vomit, what kinds of food you blame for your vomit, which types of gel pack taste like vomit, how many miles you ran after vomiting, etc.)
-Stories about other bodily fluids (that gnarly blister you got after your first marathon and what it contained*, what happens to your nose when the temperature dips below freezing, the best kind of glove for dealing with below-freezing nose syndrome, etc.)

*Asterisks indicate subjects on which I have excellent stories that I might share one day if you're really lucky. Especially the one about the first time I got the trots, when some mobsters let me use their bathroom. True story.

TMI stuff pregnant ladies, hoping to be pregnant ladies, and moms can share:
-Stories about poop (what each trimester is doing to you number-two wise, hemorrhoids, what comes out of your baby's butt and what it might mean, etc.)
 -Stories about bleeding (when you got your last period, the horror show that went on after you gave birth, etc.)
-Stories about vomit (morning sickness, spit-up, projectile baby vomit that made you freak out and call the pediatrician again, etc.)
-Stories about other bodily fluids (breast milk, colostrum [which just sounds wrong, doesn't it?], weird gunk coming out of your baby's right eye that made you call the pediatrician again, etc.)

(You'll notice that there are no asterisks in this section. Yet.)

So... not sure what to do about that one. Except to say, if you're here for the running, sorry for the baby stuff. And vice versa. 'Cause I'm not good at non-TMI. Deal? Deal.

So... am I?

Last month my husband and I went on a trip. This was a big trip in many ways, but the only one relevant to this blog is this: that trip was when we were gonna start trying. Ya know. Trying for real.

But we hit a few snags. After being on a nice regular 23-24 day cycle for the last six months or so (yeah, I didn't really bother to do things like "track my period" until six months ago), my period decided to arrive 4 days late. Which threw projected prime baby-making time right into the week when we'd be splitting our time between visiting relatives and doing some sight-seeing on our own. Neither the husband or I really felt comfortable getting it on at the in-laws'. In the end, we did manage to have a little us-time, and on peak-fertility days, too. At least I think so.


I mean, what happens when your period is late? Is it due to delayed ovulation? Or is stress (like the stress leading up to a long vacation) just putting the beginning of your period on hold for a few days? And how does all of this affect your fertility?



And what does it mean for your next cycle? Will it slip back into its normal time slot right away? Will there be additional delay next time, or maybe it'll try to play catch-up and come a little early?

I've never wondered or cared about any of this before, but it all of seems highly pertinent right now, because--if it had come on time last month--my period would have started around last Sunday. If it's back on a ~24 day cycle, it should start this Friday(ish). Of course, maybe it'll be slightly delayed.

So I'm doing lots of period-math (ugh, two of my least favorite things) and there's an anti-hope brigade fighting a losing battle in my mind. (Have you noticed that I can't bring myself to use the p-word? Not period, duh, because clearly that's no problem for me. The other p-word.) How do I know this is a lost battle? Because both a baby and a bird pooped on me during our vacation, and this, according to my MIL means that I will a. have a baby soon and b. have good luck. And I kinda believe this nonsense.  These are the straws I'm clutching at.


If I hadn't been experiencing some symptoms, I probably would be tripping about carefree, with nary a thought of period-math or anti-hope campaigns, let alone baby poop. But the nausea I've been experiencing off and on, particularly while preparing food, can't all have been in my head (could it be smell sensitivity?). The headaches, unfortunately, have all been in my head, but in a different way. And I definitely didn't imagine the wave of vertigo that washed over me for a few seconds last night.


There are, of course, problems with this. First, all or some of the above-mentioned symptoms could be a million other things, like a. malaria (yes, this is a possibility, though thankfully remote), b. some weird flu that doesn't cause muscle ache, c. just a bunch of random, unrelated stuff, or d. (despite my protestations) wishful thinking that has taken a weirdly masochistic turn. Second, according to everything I've read, this is pretty early on to be experiencing such signs. Not unheard of, but not exactly common.


So, what's left to do? Wait, I guess, and I'm not so good at that. Which makes me wonder how I'll handle it if the answer turns out to be no this time. It also makes me wonder how I'll handle the 9+ months to come if the answer is yes!


I know I can't be the only one out there who has experienced these confusing thoughts and weird period-related equations. Does any know how pi should factor in? Why does the answer always end up being infinity?* Any help, ladies? (Or men? Hey, the BabyWorm doesn't hate. Or, possibly, you know, exist.)


*That's just a little quantum physics joke for you all. Hey, no problem, any time.